The scary thing about fraud is that it often doesn’t seem suspicious at first. This is especially true with romance scams. What could be more natural than getting to know someone and making a human connection?
But romance scammers exploit this desire for connection and love, twisting trust and taking advantage of your feelings.
Understanding how these scams work and what warning signs to watch for can help you protect your accounts, personal information, and financial well-being.
How romance scams start
Romance scammers often connect with people through dating apps, social media platforms, email, or messaging services. Their goal isn’t to access your accounts or money immediately. Rather, they start slowly and gain your trust.
Over time, they build rapport and credibility before introducing financial requests. Because the interactions feel personal and the requests are from someone you think you know, the warning signs of romance scams can be harder to recognize. You may not know what’s happening until it’s too late.
What scammers often do to gain your trust
While every situation is different, many romance scams follow similar patterns and include common actions.
- Communicating frequently and consistently to establish reliability and build the relationship
- Avoiding in-person meetings or delaying video calls
- Sharing detailed personal stories to appear genuine, which often focus around hardship and troubles
- Moving conversations away from public spaces like comments on a social media post to direct messaging and texting
- Talking about financial topics and situations gradually rather than all at once
None of these actions alone signify fraud. But together, they can signal increased risk.
Warning signs that an interaction may be fraudulent
Fraud often becomes clearer when financial requests or secrecy enter the conversation. These are some of the common warning signs we suggest members be on the lookout for.
- Requests to keep the relationship or financial help private
- Sudden emergencies that require immediate money
- Requests for gift cards, wire transfers, cryptocurrency, or prepaid payments
- Attempts to obtain account numbers, login credentials, or verification codes
- Inconsistent details about employment, location, or personal history
These tactics are designed to create urgency and reduce the chance that you pause to verify the situation.
What not to do when something feels off
Fraud protection often comes down to knowing when to stop and reassess. If a situation feels unusual or uncomfortable, avoid the following actions:
- Don’t share account numbers, usernames, passwords, or one-time verification codes.
- Don’t send money to someone you have not met in person.
- Don’t move funds quickly because of pressure or deadlines.
- Don’t assume small financial requests are harmless.
- Don’t hesitate to pause and seek a second opinion.
Scammers rely on speed and emotion. So taking a minute to slow down can prevent long-term consequences. If you do take time to assess the situation and the person becomes irritated with your delay, this is a red flag that something fraudulent may be happening.
How to protect yourself and others
Fraud protection applies to both your own finances and conversations you may have with family or friends. Helpful steps include:
- Taking time before responding to financial requests
- Talking through concerns with someone you trust
- Encouraging loved ones to do the same if they describe unusual situations
- Keeping alerts and security tools active on your financial accounts
These steps help create distance between emotion and action, which is where fraud prevention is most effective.
What to do if you suspect fraud
If you believe you may be dealing with a scam:
- Stop communication with the individual immediately.
- Avoid sending additional money or information.
- Contact your financial institution as soon as possible.
- Report the situation to the Federal Trade Commission to help protect others.
Acting early can limit financial impact and help prevent similar scams from affecting others.
Get the resources and support you need
SECU is committed to helping members protect their accounts and personal information. Our fraud prevention resources are designed to support awareness, monitoring, and early action.
If something does not feel right, contact our team before taking financial action. Asking questions early can make a meaningful difference. If you believe you’ve been a victim of fraud, we have fraud reporting forms available here.
